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What up yo!
savage
on 05 Apr : 08:31
savage
on 17 Mar : 06:29
Happy St. Patty’s Day! 
"Man I wish I had writers like those." - Said out-loud to myself in reference to the dialogue in Scrubs.
savage
on 05 Feb : 22:27
Poll
What are you most looking forward to doing this spring?
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On censureship, humor, and honesty
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This website brings me immeasurable pride. It's no way near what I envision it will become, but I am proud of it and the content on it.
There have been times when the content on this website, read by a visitor to the site, has had real world repercussions.
That's ok. As I said before, and I'll say again, "what I write is intended to be read. If I didn't want it read I would either not post it or I would remove it from the site. Both those situation have occurred in the past when I wrote something I felt wasn't worth putting on escapist or wasn't needed to remain on escapist."
However, one thing I did not consider, or did not consider enough, was family members reading this site.
Now, in my defense, I've been peddling this site to them for years now. There is some great content on this site. However, the voice of Savage (not me, just Savage) is one which is written and edited to create a factious exaggeration of my (me, not Savage's) life.
I'm a huge fan of the Reader Response Theory which, to save you from reading the whole theory essay, pretty much means that the interpretation of the reader is valid even if it is not what the author intended.
So, when I write something which I read as sarcastic, or clever, it may not read that way to someone else.
There has also been some really heavy stuff written on this site. All of it has been edited, usually even spell checked, but still, the content is based on real situations.
There are things I take great pride in. There are things about my life that have and sometimes do suck. What I have been trying to do recently is remove the bad and embrace the good.
There are some things which I can talk about to some people and not others. There are some things I feel free to post on escapist and some things I won't.
However, I am not ashamed of what I write on escapist and I am not ashamed that I have gone through a period of my life that was dark, and painful, and stupid. I did not go through it alone and I came out of it because I had help. Sometimes I find my life, the life I choose, the life I still choose, to be very, very tiring. Those times, some of the most important things for me, is a pleasant, happy conversation about something other than my life sucking.
I am selfish. I did not give everyone in my life the choice of how they were going to be there for me when I needed them. I keep many in reserves as people I could count on to provide me with warmth, love, and laughter even when I needed it.
Should I have to do it over again, things would probably have gone the same. I don't like hurting people's feelings, if I can avoid it I do so. Sometimes, though, this is about me. There are a lot of choices I must live with. I could very easily have chosen to move 2000 miles away, alienate myself from everyone, and deal with my issues alone. I did not do that. These are the consequences. I will never please everyone all the time. Things my friends like, my family might not. Things my parents like, my friends might not. Things I like, very often, are mine and mine alone (Pokemon, for instance).
So, yeah, nothing is easy. If it makes people feel better, I laughed a lot yesterday and had a great night. Over the next year I hope to address, resolve or at least start the process of resolution, most, if not all, the major issues in my life. One good way to help me to do that is to understand that I am not perfect. I am a genius, but I'm not the smartest person in the world, I have self-esteem issues (which seems odd cause I'm practically the smartest person in the world), and I have a sense of humor which I love and many people don't get or find funny (see last parenthetical reference).
Right now, I'm off to meet a friend from college. Tomorrow I'll do laundry (clean clothes rule). Saturday, I'll spend with family. Sunday I'll go hiking if the weather permits. My life is not that bad. And, though certain people will hate this sign off, it's really good advice:
relax, don't worry, and grab a home brew.
- Savage
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Posted by:
savage
on
Thursday 12 May 2005 - 15:20:43
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 comments: 3
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Comments ...
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