Escapist Reality: Article / Directions on how to have a great St. Patty's Day

Directions on how to have a great St. Patty's Day
by savage on Monday 14 March 2005

A transcript of an AIM conversation detailing my instructions on how to have a great St. Patty's Day. Screen Names have been changed for anonymity but the conversation has been left unaltered.

EnglishLass: I think I need your help this St. Patty's Day
EnglishLass: How can I make it successful?
EnglishLass: Since I'm only 5% Irish, I need someone who's more authentic than me!

Savage: Ok, well, we have a great holiday this year cause it falls in the
Spring Break week.
Savage: So, you start by getting up say, by 10 or 11am.
Savage: You want to be rested.
Savage: Then, you make a big breakfast, eggs, homefries, toast, sausage,
coffee and guinesse.

EnglishLass: Ok...

Savage: Next, you go to the store (if you haven't already done so) and get
everything you'll need for dinner:
Corned Beef
Potatoes
Carrots
Cabbage
Onion

EnglishLass: sounds good so far

Savage: And more guiness
Savage: You may also pickup a few ales if you want

EnglishLass: Guinness for breakfast?
EnglishLass: The breakfast sure sounds good, though

Savage: Yup. Even Sunday when I go to Boston for Irish breakfast you go to
the pub and they serve guiness with breakfast
Savage: It's totally Irish.

EnglishLass: Ooh
EnglishLass: I want to go!!

Savage: Now, you can go to a local pub or bar. Some nicer cause you'll want a
decent amount of people. You'll be there for about three hours drinking,
playing darts and pools with anyone around. Be friendly, after all, everyone's
Irish that day.

EnglishLass signed on at 11:04:01 AM.

Savage: Then, you'll want to get lunch. Something like a beef stew with a
nice heavy bread. And coffee. Cause at thist point you've been drinking
straight for 4 hours and you still have 9 to go.
Savage: Now, you'll want to start thinking about making dinner. So, get
another pack of Guinesse on your way home and start making dinner (plan for 7 - 8 ).

EnglishLass signed on at 11:05:08 AM.
EnglishLass: Ha! So the entire day is just drunkenness?

Savage: And good food.

You peal all the potatoes and carrots (drink a beer), and then get a big pot of
water.
Savage: You bring the water to simmering with the corned beef and onion in it.
You simmer it for like an hour depending on the size, empty all the water out
(cause it will be very salty at that point) and you refill the water and put
the potatoes and carrots in it.
Savage: You will be simmering it for about another hour. You drink a few more
beers. You put the cabbage in with like 15 - 20 minutes left or so.

EnglishLass: Sonds good so far...

Savage: Then, when it's done, you cut across the meat grain not with it. Put
stuff in bowls. If you want, have some bread and a salad (optional but fancy).
Then eat.
Savage: And have a Guiness
Savage: That will give you the energy for the rest of the night
Savage: Which is going to the bar, drinking, telling people about your kickass
corned beef dinner. And singing Irish drinking songs (even if you don't know
the words).
Savage: And that is a great St. Patty's Day.
Savage: Also, if you can do this with maybe 3 people you enjoy drinking with,
then it works out really well (dinner serving size and everything).

EnglishLass: Man, it's like a marathon!
EnglishLass: How do you get around if everyone is drunk?

Savage: Yup.

EnglishLass: You have to have one non-drinker to drive

Savage: Preferably you are in walking distance to things. That plays an
important part in a few ways
Savage: First, you get fresh air every couple of hours. That is good to keep
you awake and ready to drink more.
Savage: Second, it will give you periods where you aren't drinking, allowing
the beer to work through your system making room for more beer.
Savage: Finally, walking is good for you.
Savage: And it's unfair to force someone not to drink on St. Patty's day.
Savage: Any thing that's within 2 miles is in walking distance. Things that
are within 1 mile are really convienent.
Savage: In my experience, you can usually find a bar within 2 miles of almost
any given point.
Savage: (It's funny like that)

EnglishLass (11:15:02 AM): I don't really see the point of drinking ALL day
EnglishLass (11:15:10 AM): Because it's just a waste of money

Savage (11:15:46 AM): Ahhh... only 5%.

EnglishLass (11:17:03 AM):
EnglishLass (11:17:07 AM): Hey leave me alone!
EnglishLass (11:17:14 AM): It's not my fault
EnglishLass (11:17:18 AM):

Savage (11:19:36 AM): A large part of it is drinking, it's true, but you'll notice it's mostly drinking with people (at a bar for instance). It's the recreation of the pub. The allowing everyone there drinking with you to be your extended family for the day. Tell stories, share a beer, be Irish. It's allowing for interpersonal relationship experiences the Irish way - over a beer.
Savage (11:20:31 AM): (It all makes perfect sense )
Savage (11:22:44 AM): So, what do you think?
Savage (11:23:39 AM): Did you go away?

EnglishLass (11:23:59 AM): I think you have a more British sensability about pubs than more Americans

Savage (11:24:14 AM): Nah, they drink Ale.
Savage (11:24:17 AM):

EnglishLass (11:24:38 AM): Over there, a pub experience is all about friends, and social togetherness than just getting drunk with your mates and finding someone to have a one night stand with

Savage (11:24:57 AM): Right. Irish pub are about getting drunk with your mates

EnglishLass (11:25:02 AM): Ha! Well, not only ale... lager and bitter and all that good junk
EnglishLass (11:25:06 AM): right
EnglishLass (11:25:17 AM): I woudl love to be able to do that - it sounds like such fun

Savage (11:25:23 AM): But the key there is "with your mates" and on St. Paty's Day, everyone's your mate.
Savage (11:25:44 AM): It's a fraggin' holiday. Spend a few bucks.
Savage (11:26:28 AM): But yeah, done right, the day is a lot of fun
Savage (11:26:37 AM): Oh! I almost forgot to put this little bit in:
Savage (11:27:33 AM): You're drinking the whole day long, therefore, it's not a race. It's pretty much casual drinking. You're not pounding a six pack every 15 minutes. So, you're not blitzed by the end of breakfast.

EnglishLass (11:29:17 AM): Everyone's your mate.. what a nice thought

Savage (11:29:27 AM): Isn't it through.

EnglishLass (11:29:35 AM): That casual pace seems much better too
EnglishLass (11:29:45 AM): A nice slow drunkeness
EnglishLass (11:29:48 AM): Lovely!

Savage (11:30:02 AM): Yeah. The whole structure works.

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